Not that anyone actually comes to this site, but just in case...
Due to company policy and security reasons, I'm not allowed to maintain a personal website while away.
Just so everyone knows, I'm leaving for the middle east this Saturday, February 17th.
I'll be pretty accessible by e-mail so that's probably the best way to reach me.
I'm really going to miss everyone... especially someone I really shouldn't be missing...
They're working our asses 12 hours a day and we're up at ungodly hours but everytime I close my damn eyes I think of this person...
A good friend of mine told me to just keep busy and sooner or later I'll forget... this is as busy as I've ever been and whenever I have a chance to rest my mind starts to think about her...
We're up to our ears in training, maybe I'll be able to forget when we're completely submerged in work.
I know it's hard to get over someone and I know it takes time, but I'm doing everything I possibly can to forget about this chick and it's not working!
Chicago is supposedly getting slammed by a blizzard right now and you know what I think of? If this chick is driving safely and her car is working properly... can you freaking believe it?
Anyway... this experience has been awesome so far and I don't regret it at all. In fact, I'm really looking forward to this opportunity. It is HUGE and the people I'm training with are really great. We're like a United Nations envoy everywhere we go! And everyone is incredibly smart! I'm psyched.
If anyone has any good tips on getting over a chick I'd really appreciate it... it doesn't help that Valentine's Day is this week and she's with a complete loser in life and I'm gonna be stuck in a classroom with 10 other people busting my ass...
Just so everyone knows, I'll be eligible for R&R in mid-June. Probably not in time for any of the weddings and definitely not in time for the mentoring luncheon. You know what that means?
It means I need YOUR ideas on where I to go on vacation! Anywhere's fair game... Like I said before I'm thinking Seychelles! Please include places to stay and things to see...
See you all in four months when I can write next!
Please write!
vic.ramos@gmail.com
Monday, February 12, 2007
Saturday, February 3, 2007
What's to come?
I hate to write so much that this post gets bumped off my main page. I hope the person for whom it is meant reads it and accepts it as heartfelt, honest, sincere and most importantly, written with love.
So today is it. MOST of my bags are packed.
I'm still incredibly apathetic about this whole experience I'm about to undertake.
I guess it's mainly because I didn't have a chance to see everyone I wanted to see.
It's starting to hit me that I won't be around for the BGCC Mentoring Luncheon this year, gradation, several weddings (possibly Abby's, Lindsay's (which I was planning on crashing), and Kelly's), Cubs Opening Day, etc., etc..
I'm not sad... I'm not happy... I'm just here...
I know I'll be fine and that my brother will never let me get into any trouble or be placed in overly dangerous situations in the Middle East. But let's face it, I'm going to be working in the FIELD in Kuwait and Iraq (and possibly Afghanistan).
The funny thing is, I have NO idea what is meant by "field." Now you're probably thinking, "what kind of idiot signs up for a job in a hostile area without knowing the precise environment he or she will be working in?"
I guess my answer is: I don't really care. Maybe I'm hoping it's "field" like in the sense of "Wrigley Field or Soldiers Field."
I'm going over there for the experience. When else will I be able to travel the world? It definitely sucks that I'll be travelling alone, but isn't it better than not travelling at all? I'm open to suggestions and you're welcome to come along! If I can't make it home in time for Abby's wedding or the Mentoring Luncheon, I'm considering the Seychelles or the Spanish Riviera.
One last thing....
Just so we're clear on this...
Let it be known that I, Victor E. Ramos, am well aware of the job I am undertaking and the environment in which it is to be conducted.
I most likely will not have a chance to write after this until I'm issues my work laptop AND get onto the network, so take care of yourself and enjoy the Super Bowl! Put me down for 10 - $10 squares... I'm good for it.
So today is it. MOST of my bags are packed.
I'm still incredibly apathetic about this whole experience I'm about to undertake.
I guess it's mainly because I didn't have a chance to see everyone I wanted to see.
It's starting to hit me that I won't be around for the BGCC Mentoring Luncheon this year, gradation, several weddings (possibly Abby's, Lindsay's (which I was planning on crashing), and Kelly's), Cubs Opening Day, etc., etc..
I'm not sad... I'm not happy... I'm just here...
I know I'll be fine and that my brother will never let me get into any trouble or be placed in overly dangerous situations in the Middle East. But let's face it, I'm going to be working in the FIELD in Kuwait and Iraq (and possibly Afghanistan).
The funny thing is, I have NO idea what is meant by "field." Now you're probably thinking, "what kind of idiot signs up for a job in a hostile area without knowing the precise environment he or she will be working in?"
I guess my answer is: I don't really care. Maybe I'm hoping it's "field" like in the sense of "Wrigley Field or Soldiers Field."
I'm going over there for the experience. When else will I be able to travel the world? It definitely sucks that I'll be travelling alone, but isn't it better than not travelling at all? I'm open to suggestions and you're welcome to come along! If I can't make it home in time for Abby's wedding or the Mentoring Luncheon, I'm considering the Seychelles or the Spanish Riviera.
One last thing....
Just so we're clear on this...
Let it be known that I, Victor E. Ramos, am well aware of the job I am undertaking and the environment in which it is to be conducted.
I most likely will not have a chance to write after this until I'm issues my work laptop AND get onto the network, so take care of yourself and enjoy the Super Bowl! Put me down for 10 - $10 squares... I'm good for it.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Who is Murphy and how do we repeal his Law?
So, I don't think I've ever fallen victim to Murphy's Law as severely as today.
I left the house to run a bunch of errands, one of which was to get my powerbook fixed. I left it on last night so it could download a whole bunch of TV episodes. I want to put them all on my new iPod.
Well, when I woke up this morning, I couldn't wake my computer up. So after trying a couple times I immediately went to the Oak Brook Apple Store's website to schedule the first available appointment to have it looked at. I got there around 10:10am, and after being told that my hard drive has failed fatally, driving back to my parents' house to get my iPod and back-up hard drive, and leaving the computer to have it's hard drive replaced, I'm not sitting here trying to load everything we could save onto the iPod so I can at least use the damn thing when I leave.
I don't like Murphy.. he or she effen suck! Not like the vodka... like the swear word.
There are a couple of good things that have happened... my powerbook is still under warranty so I don't have to pay anything for the new hard drive, and I pretty much have everything backed up so I haven't lost too much data.
ALSO... I received my travel itinerary from KBR! I turned off the text messaging, e-mail and internet access on my blackberry last night so I haven't had e-mail access all day. I'm sorry if you send me a text message and I don't reply.
I'm planning on bringing my phone with me to use overseas but the data/texting rates are huge so I had to turn those features off to prevent getting charged for random texts/e-mails.
But I digress... I leave for Houston tomorrow, February 3rd at 2:45pm! I'm staying at the Wyndham Hotel if you're in the area, give me a shout!
I'm probably going to have to watch the Super Bowl alone in my room but I'd rather do that than spend Valentine's Day or my birthday alone!
I'm having tons of computer problems (windows sucks!) so I'm not sure if I'll be able to write anymore before I leave, but if I get a chance to I will.
I left the house to run a bunch of errands, one of which was to get my powerbook fixed. I left it on last night so it could download a whole bunch of TV episodes. I want to put them all on my new iPod.
Well, when I woke up this morning, I couldn't wake my computer up. So after trying a couple times I immediately went to the Oak Brook Apple Store's website to schedule the first available appointment to have it looked at. I got there around 10:10am, and after being told that my hard drive has failed fatally, driving back to my parents' house to get my iPod and back-up hard drive, and leaving the computer to have it's hard drive replaced, I'm not sitting here trying to load everything we could save onto the iPod so I can at least use the damn thing when I leave.
I don't like Murphy.. he or she effen suck! Not like the vodka... like the swear word.
There are a couple of good things that have happened... my powerbook is still under warranty so I don't have to pay anything for the new hard drive, and I pretty much have everything backed up so I haven't lost too much data.
ALSO... I received my travel itinerary from KBR! I turned off the text messaging, e-mail and internet access on my blackberry last night so I haven't had e-mail access all day. I'm sorry if you send me a text message and I don't reply.
I'm planning on bringing my phone with me to use overseas but the data/texting rates are huge so I had to turn those features off to prevent getting charged for random texts/e-mails.
But I digress... I leave for Houston tomorrow, February 3rd at 2:45pm! I'm staying at the Wyndham Hotel if you're in the area, give me a shout!
I'm probably going to have to watch the Super Bowl alone in my room but I'd rather do that than spend Valentine's Day or my birthday alone!
I'm having tons of computer problems (windows sucks!) so I'm not sure if I'll be able to write anymore before I leave, but if I get a chance to I will.
T-minus ~24 hours and still a few things left to do... (Holy crap this is a long post!)
When I returned to Chicago last Wednesday I had a list in hand of all the things I needed to do before I leave tomorrow. It isn't uncommon for things to pop up but I swear it seems like every time I cross off one thing on the list I have to add THREE more new things!
So, needless to say, I haven't slept very much for the past week... not good considering I'm going to a place where I'll be working 12 hour days, 7 days a week for 4 months straight.
As with any task list, you're supposed to prioritize. I've pretty much completed the high priority stuff. I completed all the pre-employment stuff as soon as I landed in Chicago.
So I only have a few high priority things left... mostly grim stuff having to do with life insurance and lawyers... but there's one thing that I absoltely cannot leave without doing.
I need to apologize to a loved one... and I mean truly apologize; but I can't because what I did made this person so upset that s/he told me to never contact him/her ever again so I'm hoping this somehow reaches him/her.
It makes me sick what I did... that I could be so hurtful and cower behind the guise of good intent.
I said a lot of good things but I went too far (as I usually do) and they were all for naught.
I'm trying to obey this person's wishes by not contacting him/her, but I'm not really certain what faces me during this next phase of life. I can't go on without acknowledging how wrong I was and how sorry I feel. Contrary to previous statements, I sincerely regret using some of the words I chose and I was definitely in the wrong.
For those of you who've known me for quite some time, you'll know I'm no stranger to relationships. I'm fortunate enough to have loved and been loved several times in life but last Sunday I realized how BAD I am at loving.
I don't mean to get all religious and by no means am I a perfect little chuch boy, but I do attend mass as frequently as possible. Last Sunday while in San Diego, I went to church at USD with Bobby. I hadn't been to mass at USD in quite some time. In fact, while I was at USD, there were probably more than a few times I went for all the wrong reasons (the same wrong reasons you go to the gym).
This occasion, as in all the previous times I've attended mass in the past 4 months, I was really focused. It was as if I was waiting for the priest to say something so moving and provocative it would change my life.
How surpised do you think I was when all it took was hearing a reading I've probably heard a dozen times growing up... it was the second reading... a reading from the letter of Paul to the Corinthians... (1 Corinthians Chapter 13 to be exact).
The 4th verse is the famous "Love is patient, love is kind," passage... you've heard it right?
Well, I've heard it too, but never so clearly or loudly.
In my first post I mentioned the advice given to me by a very smart friend. Her advice was "It's always important to always put the other person's feelings first," and to "ask yourself, Am I acting in Love?"
At the time I knew I wasn't "acting in Love" but I never realized how badly I failed.
All the things the scripture says Love is I wasn't and all the things it says love isn't I was... I feel horrible.
I had the love of my life and I lost her because I didn't know how to love her properly.
My good friend Paul and I always joke around about how I'm going to have a Porsche some day (it may be happening sooner than you think ;) ) and he always jabs back with, "you wouldn't be able to pull that thing out of the driveway without stalling it." The point is, you've got this great car and yet you don't know how to drive it...
Well, I had the best relationship, the only relationship that I wanted in life and I blew it because I didn't know how to handle it and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for being hurtful, I'm sorry for not being able to say this to her in person and most importantly I'm sorry for not being able to love this person the way she deserved to be loved.
I love this person very, very much and truly wish her nothing but the best in all her future endeavors...
I'm hoping that the next time I'm behind the wheel I know how to really drive.
So today, my last day in Chicago before I leave for Houston, Kuwait and ultimately Iraq, I've got a bunch of silly errands to run. First, I left my laptop on all night to download a bunch (39 to be exact) of TV show episodes (to watch on my new black, 80GB iPod) and when I woke up this morning I couldn't wake my computer up from standby. So, I've got to bring the thing to the Apple store to get fixed. I hope I didn't lose all the files I actually downloaded yesterday! I'm not bringing a laptop since they're issuing me one (and since I won't be able to get on the network with a personal laptop anyway) so I want to get all my pertinent files onto my new iPod...
I also have to pick up some toiletries like deoderant and q-tips... my brother said that I can buy everything there except q-tips and I'm pretty much out of deoderant.
What else... paper work and ensuring that I have all the required documents for when I arrive in Houston (i.e. passport, ss card, copies of ss card, names, birthdays and ss #s of my beneficiaries just in case, etc.).
I've got to mail some stuff to my attorneys as well as take care of some stuff for my brother. I need to pick-up some pants I'm having altered, I need to put the rest of my crap in storage and in case I haven't mentioned yet, I still need to pack.
How the hell does someone pack for something like this?
Bleh...
I should probably stop bitching about it and just get at it...
I'll try and write before I leave for Houston because once I'm there I don't know when I'll have access next.
Also, I know I'll have e-mail access but in case anyone gets ambitious and wants to send me a Lou Malnati's Large, Deep Dish, Deluxe pizza (uncut!), I'll be sure to post my snail mail address.
So, needless to say, I haven't slept very much for the past week... not good considering I'm going to a place where I'll be working 12 hour days, 7 days a week for 4 months straight.
As with any task list, you're supposed to prioritize. I've pretty much completed the high priority stuff. I completed all the pre-employment stuff as soon as I landed in Chicago.
So I only have a few high priority things left... mostly grim stuff having to do with life insurance and lawyers... but there's one thing that I absoltely cannot leave without doing.
I need to apologize to a loved one... and I mean truly apologize; but I can't because what I did made this person so upset that s/he told me to never contact him/her ever again so I'm hoping this somehow reaches him/her.
It makes me sick what I did... that I could be so hurtful and cower behind the guise of good intent.
I said a lot of good things but I went too far (as I usually do) and they were all for naught.
I'm trying to obey this person's wishes by not contacting him/her, but I'm not really certain what faces me during this next phase of life. I can't go on without acknowledging how wrong I was and how sorry I feel. Contrary to previous statements, I sincerely regret using some of the words I chose and I was definitely in the wrong.
For those of you who've known me for quite some time, you'll know I'm no stranger to relationships. I'm fortunate enough to have loved and been loved several times in life but last Sunday I realized how BAD I am at loving.
I don't mean to get all religious and by no means am I a perfect little chuch boy, but I do attend mass as frequently as possible. Last Sunday while in San Diego, I went to church at USD with Bobby. I hadn't been to mass at USD in quite some time. In fact, while I was at USD, there were probably more than a few times I went for all the wrong reasons (the same wrong reasons you go to the gym).
This occasion, as in all the previous times I've attended mass in the past 4 months, I was really focused. It was as if I was waiting for the priest to say something so moving and provocative it would change my life.
How surpised do you think I was when all it took was hearing a reading I've probably heard a dozen times growing up... it was the second reading... a reading from the letter of Paul to the Corinthians... (1 Corinthians Chapter 13 to be exact).
The 4th verse is the famous "Love is patient, love is kind," passage... you've heard it right?
Well, I've heard it too, but never so clearly or loudly.
In my first post I mentioned the advice given to me by a very smart friend. Her advice was "It's always important to always put the other person's feelings first," and to "ask yourself, Am I acting in Love?"
At the time I knew I wasn't "acting in Love" but I never realized how badly I failed.
All the things the scripture says Love is I wasn't and all the things it says love isn't I was... I feel horrible.
I had the love of my life and I lost her because I didn't know how to love her properly.
My good friend Paul and I always joke around about how I'm going to have a Porsche some day (it may be happening sooner than you think ;) ) and he always jabs back with, "you wouldn't be able to pull that thing out of the driveway without stalling it." The point is, you've got this great car and yet you don't know how to drive it...
Well, I had the best relationship, the only relationship that I wanted in life and I blew it because I didn't know how to handle it and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for being hurtful, I'm sorry for not being able to say this to her in person and most importantly I'm sorry for not being able to love this person the way she deserved to be loved.
I love this person very, very much and truly wish her nothing but the best in all her future endeavors...
I'm hoping that the next time I'm behind the wheel I know how to really drive.
So today, my last day in Chicago before I leave for Houston, Kuwait and ultimately Iraq, I've got a bunch of silly errands to run. First, I left my laptop on all night to download a bunch (39 to be exact) of TV show episodes (to watch on my new black, 80GB iPod) and when I woke up this morning I couldn't wake my computer up from standby. So, I've got to bring the thing to the Apple store to get fixed. I hope I didn't lose all the files I actually downloaded yesterday! I'm not bringing a laptop since they're issuing me one (and since I won't be able to get on the network with a personal laptop anyway) so I want to get all my pertinent files onto my new iPod...
I also have to pick up some toiletries like deoderant and q-tips... my brother said that I can buy everything there except q-tips and I'm pretty much out of deoderant.
What else... paper work and ensuring that I have all the required documents for when I arrive in Houston (i.e. passport, ss card, copies of ss card, names, birthdays and ss #s of my beneficiaries just in case, etc.).
I've got to mail some stuff to my attorneys as well as take care of some stuff for my brother. I need to pick-up some pants I'm having altered, I need to put the rest of my crap in storage and in case I haven't mentioned yet, I still need to pack.
How the hell does someone pack for something like this?
Bleh...
I should probably stop bitching about it and just get at it...
I'll try and write before I leave for Houston because once I'm there I don't know when I'll have access next.
Also, I know I'll have e-mail access but in case anyone gets ambitious and wants to send me a Lou Malnati's Large, Deep Dish, Deluxe pizza (uncut!), I'll be sure to post my snail mail address.
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